lifeless...

SIGH.... no1's bloggin.... stuck at home... no C++ cannot do proj... si bei sianz

Miss her.... lots...
Waiting...

My voice sux... I can't believe I so buai hiao bai....

Haiz....

Today is Thursday, yesterday was wednesday...

Miss her...

Hey! my new song!!! Listen!
-------------------------------------------------------------
My heart would not be alive - Leonard Chia

Music : Eagles
Lyrics : Leonard Chia
Performed by : Leonard Chia

I was waiting
All alone in this stormy night
You were waiting
Not for him to hide
Lost and lonely
I had given up the will to survive
And if(when) you've found him, my heart would not be alive

Don't you worry
You don't have to save my life
You know I'm changing
Right before your eyes
Now I've lost you
There's so much emptiness inside
And if(when) you love him, my heart would not be alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountains
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

Now I've lost you
There's so much emptiness inside
And if(when) you love him, my heart would not be alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountains
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

I was waiting
All alone in this stormy night
You were waiting
Not for him to hide
Lost and lonely
I had given up the will to survive
And if(when) you've found him, my heart would not be alive
And if(when) you love him, my heart would not be alive
-------------------------------------------------------------

Haiz... I'll be waiting... Miss you lots...

Today is wed...

Yup... snacking on Chips Ahoy... Drinking my fav Pokka Carrot Fruit Juice... Having exam later, nv study for it... can't concentrate... dun want to think.... I feel so empty... just bloggin, listening to myself singing... Now I noe why I didn't get in SI.. No more interest liao anywayz...

Things will not be the same anymore... Totally changed, I dunno how to face you... ppl will make fun, they will tease... I hope no more will noe of this... sigh... Myabe it's a tight slap from Him... Telling me to wake up and concentrate more on Him....

Concentrate on other stuffs...

No mood to do naything now... just wanna scream and scream until my lungs come out.... and den after it comes out I can punch and pucnh til my hands bleed... and kick and kick til i cannot walk... and i'll lie there... waiting for the wave to bring me away...

Nah... i can't do tat... wish i can... maybe just drink alot alot of juice... also cannot get drank... haiz... wad misery...

miss u lots...

Sorry

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRYSORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

Sorry

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRYSORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

I'm tired...

For the 1st time in so long... I feel so bad... I feel that this world is sick and I'm sick of it, tired of living in this damn world... I wonder why God did not taught us how to vent our frustrations... If not this place would be damn better...

Just ain't fair... NOT FAIR....

Miss her terribly... she knows... I know she won't feel good about it, just hopes she understands...

I TOLD HER!!!!

I told her.... damnit.... i'm so dead...
Bros and Siss.... pray pray pray...

This very day... 28th march 2005, monday, 10:20pm...

She's stubborn...

Yea... I don't know... It really makes me sad... When I walked away, the feeling just hurts like hell... To hear her suffer, to see her sad, it makes me wanna cry...

Yea yea... I'm emotional, so what? Can't I cry? men do cry... damn it.... why... she's so cold.... so stubborn... I think she knows... I have to tell her... This is crazy... I don't even know why I went to school today...

Not the Holy Spirit calling me to go there... just dunno why... I just went...

I'm tired of this... cried for her... not suppose to... but I did... she'll never understand... no 1 will...

The boys are really sloppy... it's time for the drill to be polished.. to be brushed up... I thank God that amongst my fury of their sloppiness I did not sin... Though they had a lot of pumping but they still can laugh... What's the use? I think when she sees me like tat she'll dislike me even more....

The heading apart was really difficult for me... tat's where I cried... that's my 1st time shedding for a girl... ABSURB... really absurb.... a 19 year old, so engross in intense sorrow just because of a girl... I know u'll not be reading... I know u won't want to... u r too stubborn... but I still like you...

SQ: "... don't wait already..."
Jon: "..what r u waitin for?"
Beng: "...at least you got this kind of chance..."
Thong: "...mai tu liao..."
Jes: "...dont wait for last min than you regret..."
Snowball: "...I've seen too much of this liao, later you'll regret.."
Enci: "...she won't not treat you as a fren de lah..."
Shann: "...same old sayin: ill be touch if theres someone who misses me so much.."

4 girls, 4 guys... All asking me to tell her... WAD AM I SUPPOSE TO DO???? very very very "fan".............

I REALLY REALLY MISS YOU... saw her just now... an hr ago...

Bloggers unite!

Hah.. today I felt the power of the bloggers... The bloggers came together and chatted a whole lot...

Things that we know others have really no idea... The topics we chat is like another language to others... Even the frequency level is the same... Good? Kinda dangerous... imagine a whole group of ppl who knows your everyday life... Hmmm...

Well... I think it's not very good... I saw my chairperson being left out... My officer being very very left out... KWO furthermore left out... Ah gong and thong kinda quiet too.... Maybe we should not do this infront of them...

Even the clothes they wear all diff... At least the guys more spread out... all strips but the gals all wearing pink... only 3 of them... haiz... a bit discriminating? coincidental? dunno... I think too much? maybe... haiz.. dangerous... Aud, Jon, Thad and SQ noes.... PLS DO NOT TELL!!!

Miss her more so... haven't see her for 3hrs 10mins (10.20pm)

Owwweee....

Ouch... My kneess... hah... the skating wasn't wad I expected.... but kinda fun too... long time nv skate le, nv fall as much... but I guess the fun is really in falling... Did 2 supermans... speed fast fast and my brakes caught the hole on the ice.... haha... so fun to slide on the cold cold ice :)

Something was missing... there wasn't prayer, no objectives, kinda weird to be called a Church organised activity... At least morning we went to Ken's and Thaddeus Lim's + Hilda's baptism... I was wondering when would be the rest of our turns...

Yea... the "aunties" were like being their kaypo self... kinda sad though... I thought I could've told her.... but then there was no mood... Spoilers... Anywayz she wouldn't like me I guess... I could feel some "coldness" she has towards me le... or issit the ice...?

Hahax... found out Hotdog mei's secret!!! hor hor... die le... hehehe.. can make fun le.... Not bad leh SQ, she didn't avoid u or anything..... Jia you brother! Kinda weird... when did Von became so so so so kaypo... The way she called me... "Leonard!..." den finger pointing at me and "hooking"... wah... seducsive leh! =p

Anywayz... they are just up to no gd again... guessing this and tat... Aunties and Ahmas... dun anyhow guess lah... Chairperson and co-chair cannot discuss matters issit? Brother cannot lend sister jacket issit? Piangz....

Still miss her... Though I saw her today...

Arrrrgggghhhh!

FLOOBLE also down!!!

nvm... not important...

Most importantly now, I gotta let her know... courage Leo, courage... ("courage Willow, courage..") How? Jes, Thaddeus(beng), Jon, SQ all ask me to let her knoe quick... but then I'm just so scared... s afraid... that she'll be just like DCSM... how??? tell me how? some1?? any1?

Pls understand me... It's difficult for me... in this situatation... If I'm moody, let me be... I'm just terrorised...

Ugh... me and my dumb sense... why fall for any1 now?? so tired... tired of this world...

Miss her... even though I finally saw her today...

Good Friday!

Now's Good Friday! Finally a time to rest... yea, Thank God!
Few hours ago went to Pastor Joyann's place for Mundy Thurs, very nice dinner! Chapati, prata and Nhan, south Indian food... The curry sauces were very nice too!
Well, it's a kind of cell group, to remember the day of the Passover meal. The sedah plate or something I think.

Suppose to have a meat, offering to God, unleaven bread, bitter herbs to signify hardship during the time, greens to show coming of spring... Quite meaningful, kinda like "Tuan Yuan Fan" for CNY. Sat around, shared the meal, chat a little, listen to Pastor Sabin... Indeed wholesome...

After food, went to Ken's place... My junior, my bro's platoon-mate, went to army before me... Yea, booked out liao... Visited him, he seems thin... Kinda black...

Miss her still... I wonder if I'm suited to wear contacts... Only concern is troublesome - I'm a lazy person.... =p

Haven't seen her for about 250++hrs... it's bad... real bad...

This life... Take me with you...

Life's been down... I am starting to hate this life more and more...
The world is just ain't right... Jesus, is this what You meant it to be? Can't be right?

Friends lost...
Friend is leaving...
She doesn't know...
He still hates me...
He is hated by others...
Young faith bro...
No faith bros...
Pocket big hole...
Judged...
Being Judged...

Diana DeGarmo's Emotional is like really true... haiz...
Is this what my life suppose to be?
Or is it just me? Am I being idiotic? Am I the problem?
Am I so small to see what's the big picture???

Life sux... God certainly don't want it to be this way...

Missin' you seriously... Your're gonna break my heart... I can't get over you... 225++ hrs haven't seen her...

BOTC lessons...

Chris Lock was really good...

Apparantly 13th coy has very good impression on Christopher Lock, becoz of Dreamerz... hmm...

I like his style... natural joker, very funny...

What is an officer? A banana...
After you peel away the skin of "guitarist", "adventure ATC", the skin of "Admin", "YF Co-chair", "student", you be left with the inside, that is Sunday School Teacher...

Every BB officer must be able to take the role of a sunday school teacher! That's the most important part... Sigh... Feel so unholy now... gotta slp.... I'm as good as dead if I nv wake up tml...

Dragged....

I'm still alive? Whoa... Thank God...

I'm broke, I'm drained... Love lost~ and sick... Wow...
Jammed packed schedules... Just came back from 8am day, BOTC... tml's gonna be early in the morning again... Kinda sux actually, gotta wear formal for presentation , bring laptop... I don't know if I can pay the driving instructor the money or not... Have night class.... Have C++ exam... I'm so dead...

Presentation not prepared, exam never study... Shirt never iron... no pants to wear.... so dead...

Ugh!!! I told them le... now it's no longer a secret.... sianz... Hope God will keep their mouth shut =p
Still haven't see her... I believe it has been over 200hrs... this sux... almost 10 days, more than a week... sadz.... She still don't know but she's missed...

Thks for the reminder...

I finally figured it out that I'm falling into another deep hole... Well, no matter, I always seem to climb out of it fine...

Hey Dreamerz, u're not stagnant... I feel more like it, except I kept finding things to do... I've never been usher before, yea I did lead worship for company and devotion for camp but so did you... Looking @ SQ n Jon, they are like the 1st ones to have almost everything... lead service, lead worship... song leader... bla bla bla... Beng also chief usher liao... SQ gonna be worship leader... and I think except for KWO both of us are like stucked in BB only...

I'm not complaining... I know my limits, I can't do better jobs than them.... All I feel is LEFT OUT... but I think I'm coping it well, just like the ability to climb out of the deep deep hole I'm falling into.... Maybe God has some other plans for me... Who noes?

Missing her still... lost count of how long I didn't see her, I tot I could see her today... haiz... about a week already ba... sadz... =(

tired....

super tight schedules... super stressful week... the following weeks will be real busy... already in the midst of the business...

so so so tired... monday(12th) morning sch n work til nite... tuesday was a whole day of lessons... at least it was a nice wed... even though I was feeling abit sick... it started to sux on thurs... morning class till 6, rushed to BOTC 7pm.... went home 12:30 liao... sianz... friday 8am... til 9:30pm... today went to work 8:15am... work like mad with thong @ SAS, reach JJRG ard 6:30pm... shagged liao...

tml's combined service... 9:30am... monday 8am class work @ nite again... tues whole day + BOTC... wed presentation, exam, make up nite class... I hope to skip class to go for cell group but that's not possible... thurs and onwards would have been dead beat for me already... haiz.. so tired... zzz

imagine i took 2 hrs to blog tis... haiz... slping n bloggin...

Never in my life...

I guess I should stop brooding over it, let it be natural... It is really shocking to me... never in my life I would expect of this kind of thing.. haiz... playful, just playful...

Yea... still missin her... not worried about telling you guys, just that I don't wisht to ruin the friendship...

I still have MSN Logs to prove that once a girl noes that you like her, she'll shy away or avoid you... No matter what she says...

I'm bitter about it... why say something you won't do? Everytime I face you it's like you don't know me, you said we'll still be gd frens... tat's like crap.. you said want to concentrate on studies, fine I accept that, you jolly well go stead with a guy I grew up with! That's like !($*&($*^...

I hate you but I can't... you are evil...

Felt so hurt...
Thank God I've found her... Now I can be relief of my pain...

Shocked...

Today was a long long day... (thurs) started @ 7am... school was normal... sux as usual... should have taken Thong's sis advice... "DON'T GO TO EI!!!" she yelled... "Appeal! appeal! don't go EI..." her friends yelled also... haiz..

1st day of BOTC... well, not bad... got folders, books all prepared for us liao... but then should be covered in the $140... Den again the food wasn't good...

Kinda disappointing to see the kind of people they have for BOTC... OCTs behaving like boys... what the heck... Why the company want to let them be officers??? Anyway I'm not to judge them... Just pray that they can bring Boys to Christ can le...

Jon n SQ damn "fan" today... kept bugging me about who she was... I didn't tell... So those eager to find out, advice for you is.... WAIT LONG LONG...

I am really starting to believe that God really loves to play... I felt like a fool... really like a fool.. overcame by shock... I was given a compliment... a very shocking one... Not gonna say, it'll be socially harmful to do that but I really felt that God was playing a fool out of me I guess...

I can again laugh it off... the other 2 guys can too... heck... it was funny... I'm just stunned...

Still missing you, you still don't know... haven't seen you for 110hrs 02mins

Heartache also...

You don't know but you are missed...
Kinda upset...
Haven't seen her for 84hrs 21mins

Blessed...

Yeap, today I'm so blessed by God...

Not only my fever @ 3am recided, my driving instructor waited for me even though I almost didn't make it... No accidents today :) Horizontal parking was real easy...

Yea, really blessed...
No need to swim for long long time... God gave me the warmest sunshine of my life... So warm until I had to jump into the pool when I laid there too long... Kinda funny.. I think God was playful again, wanna see me jump in pool... (imaginating God laughing at me)

Yea... even though a bit of headache but God really blessed me... At least relief my heart of missing her...

Even though forget to bring homework for cell but thank God I went home... Got a nicer bath :) listen to CDs... count back my CDs den realise I spent a lot on CDs... :( Robbie Williams, Westlife, Bon Jovi, A*Teens and my favourite Clay Aiken! Also got a bit of rest...

Ahma disturb me!!! :( but thank God for her, if it was not for her I won't be late for cell... I'll be sleeping in my bed le... Thanks Ahma!

Well, thank God for this day of rest and praise God's Holy name. Hope tml will be better... BOTC le.. sianz... Hope Jon driving there... can drive us back =p

Cough is back... =(

Lepxim Max is not very effective.... :(
So sour... how to drink???

God is very good, although at the back of my mind I kept thinking that God will provide but didn't really pray bout it.. My dad gave me extra $$ for tml! yeah... now can take MRT and got enough for driving le!

Although the medicine not effective but I think God has also healed me :) left with a bit of runny nose nia... Gonna slp early tonite... wake up brite n early tml for a good day :)

???????? ???????? ???????????? ??????

You don't know but I miss you... the counter goes on... 55hrs 59mins...

Oh no...

sniff* nah, not crying... a bit of blocked nose and a very painful headache...
Today was the 1st breakfast meeting we had... though not all are present but we DID had a good start... As usual, every1 was late... a bit pissed off and scared kena fly kite... Untill KWO came...

SQ had attachment @ 8:45 so let him off after breakfast... left me n KWO for quiet time.. well, learnt quite alot about cults and diffrent type of cults, how to distinguish one... Kinda scary actually...

Dreamerz wasn't around, guess he's damn tired after the LTC... JY had an exam... kinda sad for him to miss this opportunity...

It's amazing of how a guy can think about a girl for the whole day... Just amazing... missin' her still...

Forget to suan SQ abt lil' flower... =x Wonder wad will happen if they grow up and marry each other? hmm... scary... time flies so fast...

Class chalet on 19, 20, 21st of april... $20... damn tight now... I just pray that God will provide coz after tml's driving I'll be really broked.. Still deciding to resign from JJ or not... feeling the stress from slping late @ nite after work... Hope there'll be an answer soon...

Class was like crap... morning lecturer like teaching to the walls... no1 was listening to him... e-learning sux as well... Solaris was fun... got a headache from it though... it sux to be the 1st 1 to finish everything... don't ask me why, try it yourself...

wonder why she nv sign in MSN so long... dying to chat with her again...
praise God for bringing me tru the camp also, it was nice to lead devotion...
wonder if hotdog mei recover liao not...
wonder if lil' flower's ok... saw her cry... hmmm... (SQ! wad did u do? =x )
wonder if the barley was enough for all...
thank God for another rest day tml...
hope God provides....

You don't know but I'm missin' you... haven't seen her for 51hrs 47mins...

Still missin' her...

Haven't seen her for 31hrs 32mins liao... haiz...

ugh.. AGONY!!!

Don't ask me who I'm missing, unless you can cure my agony... Don't ask me to see the doc, unless he can cure my pain... Don't ask me to work like a dog, coz I'm not a dog... Don't ask me not to swim coz it's my hobby...

Ask me how was my day, coz I like to share... ask me if my leg hurts coz yea it does... ask me if I need a break, of course! I've not rest well since wed...

I won't tell I won't tell, no matter how much you ask me I won't tell, not gonna mess up on this one. Gonna leave it to my hands and God's will... I WON'T TELL!!!

You don't know...

I missed it... shoot... had to work... no campfire to see...

Today morning rush down to sess planning to lead devotion, after serious thoughts about what the individual platoons have done the previous day, I gathered my thoughts and reflect back on how to link them to John 13, and the subject of Servant Leadership...

Well, devotion cancelled... a bit upset but nvm... cooked barley for the whole coy... a bit sianz... PX was very very disappointing... very hard to change his bitter habits...

Miss her much... at that time.... was eager to see her... well, at least see her liao after a few rounds of cooking, stirring the barley...

Joshua so cute! like my brother, except smaller, smarter, more obedient... hmmm wonder if she'll be a good mother? missing her now...

"You don't know"... that's gonna be like my theme for a long while le... she doesn't noe...

Well other things you might not noe would be SQ finally admitted that he liked the little flower!!! woot! I think she doesn't noe yet! Beng noes... I think Dicky noes... hahax, no excuses liao... straight from the horses' mouth!

hehehe... SQ is so dead!

Hmm... Srh's very naughty... my dear daughter Nyd also very naughty... basket.. like to play with water... haiyo...

Went to work after cooking the final round of barley... on the way i see her again... miss her... hahx... saw hotdog mei, i think got promotion... flower also... daughter also... miss her..

Work was jialat... dunno y but leg was damn tired... maybe cook barley keep on standing... den tired like mad this nite... finish @ 10:20++ shagged liao... so frustrated.. have to walk on swollen legs back home, Thank God that it was short distance and along the way God relief me of some pain...

BOTC coming liao... dunno wad will it be like... i just wish won't clash wit any thing... tight tight budget... need cash quick... driving soon again... wed swimming, any1 wans? oops, NYP only =P

MISS HER A WHOLE DAMN LOT... haven't seen her in 7hrs 20 mins liao...
You don't know but you are missed... P.S It's not you Sherrz so dun worry!

God blessed me today!

Gotta thank God for this magnificent day :)

Woke up nice and early just in time @ 10am (at least it's early for me...) Packed my clothes and toiletries and zoomed down for driving...

Great start for driving :) Never "engine die", no close encounter, learn a great deal of vertical parking :D so shiok! Stopped when needed, accelerated quickily, never delay the traffic... How wonderful? As good as having a licence already! A few more lessons ba :) Pray bout it...

Finish driving, drove back to YCK, went straight to FJ and eat "Ban mian". Kaoz! heavy queue... But it was really fast when it was my turn. Met Melv and his classmates, I know I shouldn't say this but again makes me think of my sickening class and the sickening classmates I have... Oh well, it was fun to "sup" the whole bowl of mian in such a short time =p

Headed to the pool! 12:49pm... Perfect sun. straight above the pool, super shiok... Damn sunblock so small and little cost me $8.45... Swam and tanned for 5/6 hrs.... Jas joined me around 5:30pm after finding out that no need to re-take the NAPFA re-trial... (what the heck)

Went to snack, meet KWO @ gecko. Took cab to cell group...(wad a way to end the day!) Ate prata, took cab home... here I am bloggin... Nice day! Thank God!

~Lord, thank You for the great rest and exercise. The fellowship and Your lessons. Thank You for the personal time and reflections opportunities You gave me. Amen!~

Never even thought to cry...

When I heard you say goodbye..
Never said where you were going
There's no laughter in the air
Only silence everywhere
And so much left unspoken

Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could've seen
Who's to blame

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you

Was I lost in you and me
To the point I couldn't see
That what we had was dying
Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from crying

I should learn to live without your love
Got so many memories, but it's not enough

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you

I feel helpless and oh so all alone
Like I've never felt before
You made me feel alive
But I don't remember what it's like anymore

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you

Without you, where do I belong?
Without you, how can I go on?
No love but yours will ever do
Tell me how am I supposed to live my life
Without you
________________________________
Can anyone help me find the album??? I can't find it, even though I'm a fan of Clay...

Ugh! Memories of bad things come to my mind when I hear this song... But it's so nice to recall... =p

Time flies...

Damn, time really flies.... In a blink of an eye I'm going to be a year 3 student in april...
The weeks zoom pass so fast. Don't even have time to stop and rest. for the past 2 years I think I've only slept for the most 7 hrs each night.

Gotta admit I'm getting old... Seriously accepting being called "uncle"... Going to BOTC soon, gettting driver's license. Attachment... It really is fast...

Thank God that over the years when I reflect back I do see some achievements for God and myself... Thank God for giving me a ministry to serve in. Also the needed breaks in between.

Growing fatter and fatter it seems, not because lazy but the lifestyle that poly students have are really good for putting on weight... Just look at before and after photo of my brother...

Thank God for preserving my health also, even though not as fit as before, a little heavier... Cannot run anymore, pull ups also doing lesser and lesser... Need to lose weight le... no time, can't stop eating... =x

God, can don't bless me with so much food? hehe.. Thank You!

NS, the Singaporean nightmare...

Damn, 1 more year to graduation, don't know if can find job, don't know if can graduate... NS will come... SO young, so early... death of being a teen...

After attending the NS talk that was meant to prepare our dear bro Ken, I got a clearer picture of NS's structure and purpose for everyone...

Whether you are Degree, 'A' level or 'O' level. Once you are 18 years old you ARE liable for NS... sianz, i'll be 20 when I'm going in... the big 20.... kaoz so old liao... It was like yesterday when I was in primary school fighting, in sec sch wooing...

Well, for the benifits of those who didn't attend or have no idea of what NS's gonna be like, here's the rough scoop of it...

Firstly you must be physically fit, that's where IPPT comes in, to test your fitness. If you fail or you missed the test (like our dear bro) then you are declared unfit. You will be placed in this program called PTP (Physical Training P??????) and be trained until you are declared fit again.

Next supposedly all recruits are required to got through BMT (Basic Military Training) @ Pulau Tekong for 3 month.

Those who have 'O' levels alone will pass out as Privates, Degree will get Coporal and Diploma a Lance if I'm not wrong. These are called the NS men.

There are those who wants to sign on. Like dear bro beng. Diploma holders will qualify to be either Specialists or Officers, 'A' levels, Degree holders and above can only be officers I think. Those who did not have any of theses cannot be officers but being a specialists is possible. Minimim requirement is having a 'O' level cert. SAF will send you to SISPECT to be trained as a specialist.



Specialist's rank starts from Sergeant. Whereas officers' rank starts from 2nd WO i think.

This are just very rough description of the structure, I may be wrong, DO NOT QUOTE ME for what I type here. =p

Pray for bro Ken, 11th March is his D day for NS...