Why not?

you behave like one, you speak like one... So unfathomable... so forbidden... UGH!!! I guess the only reason not is that you have another... :(

Been so busy...
This phrase of life sux... It's like I'm lost, flowing down the river of time... Without control... I can't seem to enjoy what I've enjoyed in the past...

Recording songs, writing down my inspirations, diarying, going for swims (how I miss that!), gym, or just sitting down and penning some thoughts...

Theses days it's delivery in the morns - noons, resting/dinner in the evening - nights, Worldcup in the break of day...

Thank God there's still time for slp... For regenerations... Sorry to all who called me and I gave "um, ah, yea... ok... bye..." I'm really tired and almost worn out... So fast.. less than a month after Church Camp... Need to rely on God more... Isaiah 40:31

Sob...

I'm in a very bad mood now... Dunno why... Somehow it's gotta do with not enuff slp, unable to please God and getting a warning from a TP for doing nth wrong... :(

Parallel continuous yellow lines indicate no parking at all times on that side of the road where these lines are drawn.

Double yellow zig-zag lines indicates No Stopping at all Times on that side of the road where the lines are drawn

What do you consider as parking?
Vehicle stopped with engine off and driver out of vehicle.

Stopping?
Vehicle stopped. Hazard lights on. Driver INSIDE vehicle.

I wished I didn't stunned at that time, that I could correct Mr. TP... I 4got to take down his license plate and name... I want to complain him...

1. For intimidating me, being sarcastic and snobbish - "I know you nv park, ur car park..."
2. For insisting that I've parked my car when I just arrived - THE SAME TIME HE ARRIVED...

I know God wish for me to learn to obey Authorities... but this time I just can't seem to let it go... UGH.... Pls pray for me... I'm so sad... affected by this damn thing...

---

Jon & Liwen's Bdaes are coming...

Sure going to spend damn much again... I hate June/July... everyone's bdaes are clashed in this 2 months... There's still bills to pay somemore - end of month...

Not going to share presents... I still feel that sharing is unsincere, of coz I understand that some stuff will be expensive, 1 person can't possibly pay for it, but who cares? I think bottomline is the gift is meaningful, the person likes it, and best of all it would be good for the person. Isn't that what a GIFT is for?

God gave us the greatest Gift... I hope all my gifts are like His'...

Graduation!!!

Heeez... the thorn among the roses ")





3 Recruits, 3 Lawyers, 2 Minister of Parliament!!!

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Oh... My 2nd Neoprint... Hahs ")

An Update...

Right, to update what I've been up to lately...

Let's start with 20th June - Graduation Day!

Dad wants to attend my graduation :) Heeeeeez... But still find it awkward... So went to grad... Wore formal and everything... Wait alot in the holding area, get queue number, den off we went to our seats...

I like my seat alot, right in the middle of the hall, can view the glory of the whole place. Celestine was sitting beside me, and some super talkative NS guy chatting with his female counterpart... We all felt that alot of the "ceremonial" stuff was waste of time... That's where I started toking to Celest...

Henry, Chris & Hui behind me... Very difficult to tok to them... Den it was up the stage, shake hand with CEO of NCS Computer System thingy... Chairman of Singapore Computer dunno wad.... Must be some big shot larh... Took the folder, smile at camera...

Off I went to look for my dad, at the refreshment area... Sian diao... I only ate 2 ice cream puffs!!! And both chocolate, I didn't get to try the custard one... :( Anyway went to collect the cert at LTL 3, queue and wait again, den met Yong's CO. Talk talk talk, now sign bond with SAF is 10 yrs, but 7th yr dun feel like serving can resign... So take away BMT/NS will be 5yrs... Can consider :)

Suppose to go kbox with Hui, sorry dude.... Is not I anti, but go so far and Party World damn expensive... :( I really urging to sing... Not I dun wan...

Went baq home feeling soooo tired...

---

Today - 23rd

Suppose to go Kbox, end up TRIED to watch show...

Didn't get to do both... Instead Man, Clement, Cherlyn, Joleen & me went out for lunch @ Swenssons, after that we went Milinia Walk to gai gai, den suppose to go Junction 8 for show but too late... So we ended up walk walk again, learnt new stuff... Oh ya, Shermaine, the mints can be found at Candy Empire :)

Lemon Sorbet from Hagan Das is very nice...
Joleen loves Precious Moments...
Man is hyper-active 24/7, not just when there's ppl around...
I am old, fat and stubborn... :(

After that sent them home, pick Thong up, went to chalet... BBQ, mushroom very nice... If can add some starch, water, boil 2gether and gravy it over the steaks... den it'll be damn nice... But the steaks are really like rubber...

Come baq home, bathed, blog, now goin to slp... ZZzzzZZzz...

Broke...

UGH...

My guitar fund... no more... I hate it man...

Woke up to a giddy spell, went to campsite early, dazed a little while... Service was kinda quick, probably it's pastor Edmund, coz he really speak good sermons...

The item put up by the kids are nt bad, brings a smile to ppl's face... Happy Father's Day! After service we went to eat mac... On the way a chiwawa rushed across the road.. I'd nv thought I would've use emergency brake and horn just to miss crushing the dog...

Today we went celebrating Ms Joyann's bdae... At fish & co. I've become sick of it already... Spent a damn lot of money... Inclusive of present - a Tiara, chocolates and dinner...

Total damage $80+
Time to really get stingy...

gliderz $41.92
DVD $4.50
Mt. ophir nid to claim $19
Junwen owe me $25

Total: $90

Owe jon $10
Owe beng $6

Guitar fund left: $74
Sob...

Siiiiiiaaaaaaannnnnn diiiiiaaaaooo....

So much for being smug...

Today went to sch for soccer session...

Scored a Thierry Henry, den did a Joe Cole... QS complain that I very solo... After that I try nt to touch ball le...

I think I've improved... probably learnt quite a few stuff after seeing world cup... Robin Van Persie is arrogant... VERY arrogant... After he scored that free kick, all the stunts come out...

Christiano Ronaldo is a useless idiot... I've proved my point for like soooooo many times, yet ppl still think he's good... Yea he can twinkle toes around the pitch but wad for? So many times he dribble pass the defender, doesn't look up, anyhow hantum thinking the ball will somehow land near his colleagues... And you guys noe why he take free kicks? HE CAN'T SHOOT STRAIGHT... The 2nd free kick against Iran can show... the ball just swerve left to right and den miss everyone and the goal... He shld thank God his penalty went in, it's just happens that it's hard and fast...

After soccer, bath, change get ready for parade, sat one area play with guitar, a group of gers walk pass - "That guy playing guitar so shuai..." I stunned... Of coz I "um chio" I think I also face red... Felt so smugged...

Brought Nick, AC n Teng Long to eat lunch at office, still love the chicken rice there... No other will do, not even loy kee... Then drove them round the industrial area, think they were surprised that so many big names were located there... :)

Baq to parade, slack ard til lessons over, led the company warm up den dodgeball :) IT WAS FUN... But I think need more time and smaller area...

Den went to JJRG, Eileen!!!! UGH.. want to kill u... "Did you put on erm..." rocking her hands under her chin... "...Fats?" !?!?!?!?!!! My gosh... how can u?? siiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaannnnnn dddddiiiiiiiaaaaoo... Wad a day... Long time nv see Gerlind le, think she lost weight again... Must be the stress.... den saw them work like nt happy also... haix... wonder will it be different if under my management? hahas... dreaming again =p

I'm an idiot...

I told myself to save up for the guitar... Even if nth to eat also must save for guitar...

Went to CWP to deposit the cash... Ok, got $170+ set aside for guitar... Went around walk walk... Enter the guitar shop... talked to my fren, told me that I shldn't have glued my bridge... yea yea, same for everyone... Told me that lately nobody buying drumsticks so no stock for those high end ones... okiez, gotta go to plaza sing to find...

Walk, walk walk, den enter the computer store... GSS... Saw this cool computer casing, square one, black one, about the size of my monitor... Den got a tempreture monitor outside.. so cool... Den.... I see it... Kingston RAM... 512MB PC3200... $85... I just whack and went out of store and drove baq home...

Ok, that was rash... Nvm... Gliderz have to claim $41 + $4.50, there's gonna be $30 refund from Church Camp... That'll make up for the RAM... :(

Back from Church Camp 2006

Yay! It was a refreshing camp, really learnt alot of new stuffs... Can sort of called soul-reviving...

Day 1

The bus ride was soooooo long, we've lost our way and I thought that we're going to be late, esp the opening and Icebreaker. Guess what? It's God's marvelous plan again! Before our camp was another church camp in the resort, they checked out late, those in the bus, God lead us to "lost" our way... Those driving were caught up in a massive jam! When we reached there those drove just arrive behind us. Amazing!

So our opening ceremony was pushed backed, we had lunch 1st instead, den come back for Icebreaking. Lunch was not bad, except that there were lots and lots of flies... Den it was back to the hall... I know my Icebreaker sort of sux, 8 people had to eat whole lemons WITHOUT having any facial expressions!!! Eww... HAHA... Lounge very cold... hmm....

Den the next part, Persuasion, I
think it would've worked better if there were some changes... But still I hope I get my message across. There might be alot of nice words, nice stories very easy to accept, but there's only ONE Truth, sometimes it may sound rebuking, it may be hard to accept but it's still the Truth, we're all sinners and need God.

Then, it was line dancing, I surely knew that not everyone will dance... Louge was quite cold,
but still it went on... I sure would love to watch the video of the guys behind playing a fool... I wished soooooo much I was one of them instead of one of those performing...

After that we went to check in, as we walked down there was the flying fox area, up the tree hse, down by the fox... One by one we played, den Cherie play stun, she released at the end and flew down the hill... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shock of my life... I thoght we going to need to call ambulance... Thank God nth happened... went to our bunks dem... flies infested our door mat, flies in the room, in the OPEN AIR toilet, almost everywhere... I just took a rest, supposedly to rehearse for my worship session but den due to lack of time helped setup the instruments and equipments instead.

Then we went for dinner, this time inside the restaurant, still there were damn lots of flies... Change to the ballroom, it was worship, message on discipleship... The aircon was damn cold... Then a little group fellowship, discuss about tml's devotion and breakfast...

I soaked myself in the jacuzzi for about 1hr... Slpt at 12+...

Day 2

Woke up in a hurry... Bath, changed and quickily headed for breakfast and devotion... Hmm.. the team not gelled yet... Alot of awkward silence in between, only me and Mr. See trying to break the silence once in awhile...

Then it was quickily run thru music and slides... Then it was my worship... This is my 1st time leading a whole worship by myself, and THE ONLY TIME I don't have my diary with me!!!! Very scary, I was afraid that I might forget what I planned to share with the congregation, just then I just PRAY... Okies... Ballroom very cold....

I felt that the worship was ok, too many new songs, maybe next time just 1 new song will do... Then it was workshop... Not those kind of fun fun one... It's those really nid to think de... Den break for rest...

Went for lunch, at the restaurant, we all got used to the flies... Den it was a little break, went for rest... GAMES! Pool games!! hah... quite fun, I'm still fast!!! so long nv swim I'm still very fast!!! At
least faster den alot of ppl... I learnt that Ms Junn is actually a very very very fast swimmer! I thought I would overtake her den suddenly her short burst of speed left me shocked... fine...

After that, it's our bi-annual Church Camp water captain's ball competition! Oldies vs. Young Ones... Oldies won by 8-6... Ugh.. hahas... it was fun, alot of pushing and shoving again... I guess it's really great to have the whole FAMILY playing 2gether...

It was time for resting again, some of us went to the sauna, jacuzzi... The jacuzzi not hot... Den i just head for bunk and took a little nap... Headed for dinner, den back to hall for worship cum workshop, this time on prayer... then it was time for night games... I cudn't join my grp... i was
one of the station... the screwed up station... one deck of cards 4 teams waiting... how to finish? haiz.. nvm...

Eh... I think it was games 1st den worship/workshop... hmm.. getting old... Nvm, after that we had alittle grp time again, den went baq to slp... This time no jacuzzi... just shower and slp... Cudn't slp coz Yi Herng took my space, I slpt on the sofa instead... =( I went out to the Flying Fox area, climbed up and tried to play but so dark, soo scary... Walked one round den I went baq to bed....

Day 3

Woke up, went to eat, devotion, worship/workshop on worship... Den we had lunch... Den rest, den games... Our group won!! hahas... fastest timing! After games went for rest again, den get ready for Praise and Worship session...

The ballroom was very cold... <- remember this line.....? After dinner, it was a little special nite... Why special? Coz instead of white rice we had fried rice! Hahas, of coz not lar... But I found it funny so just crack the joke... Den on to lead my 1st game, the "write something nice about you..." game... Haha, hilarious... I'm such a genius to plan this game! Haha.. no la, thank God, all glory to God coz He lead me to plan this game... I like my comments for me... Somebody wrote "sings well..." dunno who write de, sounds like an adult... HEEEZZZ... made me so "smuggy"... den there's "Great musician... Have talent to lead worship" also dunno by who... Of coz those younger ones dunno how to look for good points to write, got comments like "helpful & friendly" so general... Den Cherie!!! ugh... write so simple stuff... walau... hahas... nvm, I also last min den write urs de... lol... After my event was the really special stuff... The line dancing... Finally I can dance the whole thing... Still the guys were playing a fool... it must be really fun... ugh... no choice... who ask me to be in games comm... nvm.. Den the Praise & Worship... Aircon cold... I LENT Cherie my S&K Denim Jacket, my precious jacket..... I was the drummer... Alot ppl share, suddenly Mr. Martin play stunt... Tell story like youth camp de... Soooooooo long!!! Sooooooo cold!!! I was shivering.... Mr. See behind me laughing at me.... Shivering.... Hands numb, face muscle twitching... Den finish story... Time to play! WAH SEH!!! I asked God to gimme strength... I was shivering as I was playing... Thank God for controlling me... I ask God "Lord, if u're not with me I won't play, pls use me as Your instrument..." Really thank God I didn't screw up the song I screw up the most during rehearsals... Not a beat out of timing... hahs... After we prayed I dash for the exit... jumping up and down... UGH... hahas... sooo cold... Den we headed for our bunks, I packed my luggauge, took a rest, watch TV.. From no where 2 gers popped out from the room behind... Wah seh!!! So dangerous, we could've been changing our underwears and they just popped out without warning!!! Hahas.. thank God none of us were doing anything, just eating maggi and slacking ard... I went to soake myself in the jacuzii hoping that they will leave soon and practise for Beng's closing... Den when I come out they were still there... Ba Zhan the guitar... fine, I'll play with them... hahas, we ended up trying to make all songs "MaMoMe" compatible... lol... it was damn hilarious... "In the stars His handiwork I see~ MaMeMaMeMo~" & Amazing Grace in MaMeMo version... So fun... QS maligned me again... wad womanizer.... I think he's just jealous... JEALOUS... bleah... Den they finally went baq... I can finally practise my Consuming Fire and Bright Morning Star... Went to slp quite late...

Day 4

Woke up quite early coz toooooooooooo cold... 6am I think.. Took a bath and
shut off all the aircon, open the main door... Lay on the sofa and dozed off...
Thks QS for ur blanket BUT I'm already awake!!!

Packed everything, dragged the luggauge, have breakfast, all the while they
serve omellettes for free but nobody except me ordered it.. hahas.. so funny...
Everyone was like asking how come u have special de? Coz I special ma.. God
loves me ma, u all having cool food, only mine is smoking hot... hahahs... I did
asked u all to order but nobody order so fine lor... Nice, the only thing no
nice is the chicken inside, too tough le.. if not the 1st day de is magnific
:)

Went up, this time, I'm wearing my jacket! =p den Cherie sitting infront of
me coz become projectionist... Den as I was playing the last song, "MaMoMe" came
out lolz.... I was like wanting to laugh but it's a worhship... =D

After everything, news of the bus was delayed 45mins, den we played pool, I
was playing the guitar... Went to look for place that sells gum... this is the
2nd time I cudn't get gum to chew! Spoil my tradition... Fine... Den comes the
bus, it's by 2nd link... No chance to buy still... forget it, just keep the
ringghit...

The bus send us home to Semb MRT, took a loong route... UGH... fine... Had
lunch at Mac, I think everyone craved for mac at that moment.. dunno why also...
hahs.. took cab to office, drove baq home.. hahs.. Sleep until today morning..
18hrs of slp... hahas..... so shiok.. :)

I've got SCV!!!

Haha... Finally after a long long time, I've got cable TV again!! HEez.. used to have it when I was in pri sch, lost it after I couln't control myself and played $2000++ worth of called in games =x

My $70 ang bao was not even enough to pay my parents... I think they had the shock of their lives.. haha... I think I really did bad that time... imagine, $2k+ although at tat time cannot get a laptop but still at least a big TV...

Now, I'm more sensible :) and of coz SCV dun offer this kind of services anymore, so my parents just get it just for??? US! For us to stay home and watch the world cup! Sooooo that we'll have 1 less reason to stay out late :)

Thank God for that, more time to spend with dad and mum :)

Tml's church camp 06, really eager to go, but wished I had more time to slack ard and prepare, esp my next day worship... felt like it's very sudden... well, at least the games I only have to rely on what I bring :)

Look out for moi in the camp! I'll be ur disaster! hahas...

Jealous!!!

Ugh... from the laptop, to LCD TV, fish pond, to bathroom, it's all sooooooooooooooooooooo nice... Ok, maybe not jealous, envious the more "nicer" word...

Cherie's hse at Holland V, really is different... Very convenient carpark, once exit is the main road, the lot is beside the lift, don't have to go by main door, the corridor can come in to the living room...

The pond is just at the living room, very nice... Her bedroom just overlooks the pond!!! ugh.... Can lay on the bed and watch the fishes... Living room split into 2 with the dining area dividing it, each part has an LCD TV!

Ugh... ugh, ugh... hahs... so nice... hopefully in future my home will be BETTER =p

Maligned...

QS says I'm a womanizer... wad the heck?

I'm already fed up with having soooooo many rejections... How can I be a womanizer?????? ugh...

Last night celebrated Caleb's farewell, not bad, xept the pasta was abit tastelese... The meat I cook was overcooked, salty and the drumstick not cooked... Haha... At least the hotdogs came out right...

We had durian and honey dew for deserts... Nick was sharing his experience with us about NS, alot of things for Caleb to take note...

After that went to Jon's place for mahjong and "tah" a glass of red wine... The wine was dry at 1st, after that it became smoother and smoother, very rich and fragrant... Nice...

1 round of MJ went home straight... Thank God I was still sober... if not I would've to stay at Jon's place... crowded like mad... hah...

I'm back!!!

Really thankful to God for allowing such a wonderful trip :)

Alot of things I've learnt, really to rely on God's strength, the more I try to use my own strength, the more I hurt myself... Prepared Gortex boots but end up hurt my pinkies & toes, still twisted BOTH my ankles, busted my right knee and both thigh were hardened and hurt like mad. Brought 100Plus and Red bull, end up still have not enough energy to climb "properly". Brought Sunscreen but forgot to use, end up sun burnt... Haha, I was the joke of the day...

The climb to checkpoint 4 was rather short. Sad to say we left Jiawei behind with Mr. Tan, we had to sacrifice him coz he couldn't take it to CP1...

We set up camp at CP4, the water was great, crystal clear, icy and refreshing! The air was crisp and cool, very fresh and relaxing.

Dinner was rather light. Din't start a campfire, too much wood to find...
Started packing for sleep. Because not everyone was with us we had to sacrifice one tent, left with one tent to squeeze in 10 people.

I was the 1st few inside, quite comfortable, ended up at the legs of everyone else, ended up slping outside the tent - u're really quite a damn selfish person... Really a boot licker, I open up to get my things you make damn much noise, Mr. Tay shine light on u guys for fun nv say anything....

Early morning pack light, leave camp with Darren behind looking after... I lagged behind... At CP-KFC i really wanted to give up... I wanted to stay there and wait for them... Our guide told us CP7 is only 5mins away so I just go... suddenly it's 30mins, still middle of no where...

I saw the path ahead, I wanted to faint... I asked God to give me strength and I tried to push on. When the reached the CP, I was still climbing like mad... Guess wad? It's only CP6... Our guide lied... UGH! I just told them I want to give up...

Mr. Tay said "Liwen they all also reached the summit, you want to give up?"

Okaaay.... Fine....... I guess 2 more CPs won't die... Little would I expect it to be sooooooo tough.
After a few climbs of only ROPES & ROCKS, I really drag myself - HANDS & KNEES... I was crawling! Towards Bukit Botak I kept trying to push on, I was frustrated and was like "To hell with it!!!" trying to push, but still I had to stop after every few climb...

It's then, I realised I rely too much on myself, I really thank God that Jonathan helped me carry my pack. I had an easier time climbing without it, I started to sing praises, asking God to be with me. From then on, I was no longer dizzy or short of breath, i was cruising for quite some time

We reached the summit!!! WOOHOO!!! The air was really clean, it was kinda dry though. The view was great! I forgottened all my sprained ankles and "sogginess", suddenly there was air-con. clouds came by, the sun shone mightily, God's presense with all of us! Really beautiful.

Lunch at the top, den it was time to come down... Maybe I rested enough at the top. But most probably it's God's strength, I was the 1st few to rush down back to CP4 with my backpack.

We started bathing, it was really really refreshing! I soaked my sorrowful feet in the icy cold waters, natural water have healing properties i guess, no pain after the bath... Cook dinner, we tried to finish what we have, powder up started a fire and went to slp..

Few of us slpt outside, the tent was free, it was shiok.. The weather became very cold... I didn't want to use the slping bag coz I want my pillow... But still it was too cold... In the middle of the night i was coughing, snoring, coughing... Den I cudn't feel my legs! Moved them, and I thought I'd be fine in the morning...

Well, I was wrong! I couldn't stand when I wake up, I was not ready to go... It's a steep and long way down... So we started packing the stuff... Started with prayer and moved off... I was without shirt, only a jacket on...

Arh arh arh every step I took walking downwards... The guys made fun of me but I just thank God, I wasn't the one who fell, I didn't have not enuff water. I NV drank any river water...

I sweated as if I just bathed, I wished I can slide down or something... Every single step I take, killed me... I counted how many times I twisted my left ankle... 5 painful times... 1 time on the right...

I just thank God he brought me back alive... Really greatful, throughout he held the weather for us, he brought us up and down safely, the decisions made were foolish at 1st but became clear after we've seen His plans... It's really marvellous to see God's plans unrevelled slowly before our very eyes.... I love it! Thank God!!!

Finally I'm scared....

Nervous, worried, something tells me I'm not prepared...

Maybe it's way out of my comfort zone, maybe it's Ms Joyann's uttering of "What if cannot come baq?" We all told her it wouldn't happen...

I hope, pray and wish my head out so...

Cell group was rather fast... Caleb brought rice dumpling and we spent our Duan Wu Jie at 589a... Usual, chit-chat... Toking about crocs shoes, Ophir trip, etc.

Went to prata shop and supper... B4 went there, another round of "What if cannot come baq?"...
It's like why? Say until as if something is going to happen?

During the trip back home, we were affirming with each other that IT won't happen... But who knows? Maybe God has His plans...

Now, it's my turn to worry.... Suddenly I ask myself what if I can't come back??? Maybe I can't find enough clothes, but I can't pack so much... I fear alot of things... What if I can't come baq, myu parents will blame BB or worse, the church...

Who is going to assure my family's salvation? I haven't have a wife! Haven't finish my church camp games... Gliderz website, it will stop at month 6? What will become of my things?

My xbox will go to jacky, my software & laptop goes to kang wei, guitar one for yi herng one for jolie, my memorables - with me in my grave... this PC must be sold alway... all my other stuff will belong to my parents... My heart will be for her... Organs donated to those who nid it...

..................... Is this stupid? I how all theses will not happen... PRAYER...