Invisible

This few days been feeling so invisible...

Though there's some involvement in certain things but... Well... Forget it.
Been looking for somewhere to pour out all the frustrations... Din't wanna put it down here at 1st but guess there's no place to throw all this bad things away...
Everyone's too busy to listen to me whine... So if u're here, just ignore this post if u can...

Church's nt gonna be the same. I still rmb the times when there weren't so many of us young ones. Just me I think... The peeps will always be so happy and cheery, almost those kind of hugswhenwemeet situation. Nowadays even a goodmorning's so hard to come by... Well, 2 hands to clap... Guilty of it too.

Miss all those smiles and howareyous. Miss the attention given. Maybe tat time there's only me? But then again where's all the after service lunches? Is it really becoz of smb shop closed down? Dun think so... There's sun plaza now right? zzz

Issit really that the devil's so strong that we're divided and conquered? I want it the way before... why is my church turning into a zombified typical circular-typed organization? Where's all the human touch? I don't know what can I do to help except praying... Help us Lord...

It's nt tat e situation now's nt good. I still love going out wit e gang to eat, hang out and have fun. But it's so different, just different... I love the gang, the people. But I guess ppl change thruout e yrs?

Notice a certain characters in our church's nt ard? Does someone bespectacled, quiet and usually ignored seems to be nt ard anymore? Anybody cared or asked? Guess nt. Thank God it's bcoz he's in another church...

Life at work seems so duh... Ppl seems to think that jnrs are dumb and nid guidiance for EVERY single thing...
Suddenly working seems really really meaningless... The amt of things that we need to cover up for audit... Really atrocious... Can't elaborate...

Laopo's on her recovery stage now. Doc says she's all ok to go. Still some adjusting to get used to. This fri or sat or maybe sun gonna bring her to see doc again. There goes my time for myself again... But it's for my dear... haiz....

some ppl just nv think abt how others feel... u think u're the only 1? just bcoz everyone's on ur side doesn't mean u can do what u wanna do... some kind of big shot u are... just great man... dun even know why I fought so hard for things just to be on par.... only to know that i'm invisible...

GRRR...

Invisible at home... maybe nt totally. Wanna thank God for my family too. The support they have for me and laopo... At least not so bothered abt my in & outs. Guess they've adjusted to my lifestyle... Or maybe they think it's bo bian... Wish to get baptised soon... Dunno if I'm ready or nt. I wan their full blessings b4 I can at least feel a littel ready... but been so invisible... how? how to give them that assurance? how?

Taken aback

What happened to you...? So cold...
Crying alone in the night...
Feel so lonely.

Never knew the news til today.
Why must you hide?
Couldn't you just tell me? Don't wish to fight...

Guess we're just friends...
Nth special...
Just like you'd said to my dear sister...

Taken aback, don't know wad to do.
Guess we're not meant to be
Just wish u're nt avoiding me...

Frustrating to not know anything yet feel the damn change.
Wanna find out what's happening...
Wanna know what's the situation...
Wanna know, wanna know...

Get outta my head...

It was a sad day

Well, sending someone off's nv easy... Especialli someone so dear.

I realli found it hard to say out what I feel.. But I guess somethings have to be said. Especially when u see Beng up there in tears... Made me felt so sad too...

Ms Joyann, we'll miss you alot. Do take care.

Thank you for ur teachings, thank you for helping me speak to my parents. If not really I don't know how to tell them. Sorry for disappointing you at times. That time when I was 2gether with her. Sorry for breaking your heart. I feel so bad.

You will always be out beloved princess.

Hey, I promised you a surprise, so don worry yea?

爱一个人不需要拥有她，可是拥有一个人需要去爱她。

I couldn't take leave... UGH!!!!!!!! Hate it... Today was audit for the flight... Everyone's fighting a war... So tiring.. zzzz

What is it...?

Remember the world? It's a dark dark dark place...

Remember how we used to tell each other how dark the world is? How ppl are so corrupted? Yea... I'm sure everyone agrees.

Didn't get to go parade today... Working on weekend really sux... Next week's gonna be worse... I'm trying to take leave on this coming weds. Also for the 13th - 16th as well.

Thurs I went to the National Stadium to see it 1 last time before it's gonna be gone. Went thru the tour. Wished I had become an athelete... Din't noe tat Sg's sports standard was that high.

During the tour I kept thinking of my wife... So sad. The things she has to go thru... The pain...
Wonder why God has to let her go thru a heart transplant at such a young age? God! She's only 16ys old... haiz...

Went on monday to visit her, doc say already found a doner. Just couldn't take it when I see her lying there motionless... Wed go thru op, thurs go thru therapy treatment... Gonna see how.

After the stadium visit, went to PLAB for FAFA training. The most amazing thing happened. There was no confirmed booking! Very surprised and angered... Grr... wasted trip and petrol...

Nvm... Booked it again... This time confirmed it. Wasted trip

Went to visit my wife... My gosh! She's in a mess... Though she's moving now but her haggard look... Oww... Her body all looking frail and weak. Well, at least the op was a success. She can be discharged!!! So happy. I literally ran to her without stopping. Guess she's happy to see me too =)

Gonna bring her to service tml. =)

Today had a really bad day... woke up, went to WORK... yes... WORK... OC bought us breakfast. But no point. Told us try to finish by 1pm but heck... Guess what time I came out? 7:30pm... So sad not able to attend parade... Ugh... Sadded... But it's great to see every single available pair of hands working hard in the flight.

It reallies pushes me to work harder for the flight. Hmm... Jia you AWF!
Saw this really wonderful tagline.
Got wings will fly, got guts will try~ Yea, it's so me =)

Lao Zha Bor

Saw tis on Winson's blog today... I wanna laugh but it just can't come out... Hah..

Happy Birthday Ms Joyann!

Yeap, celebrated her Highness' birthday last night.

The point really is we can't plan a good surprise... haha.

Sakura's getting lousier each time I go eat. Maybe bcoz their menu nv change. Anyway, hope our princess enjoyed the day =)

The P5 girls were really rowdy... So unlike their Officer. How embarassing...

After that, it was a long awaited kara session. Well, guess it's nt e same wit diff ppl... Diff genre... Anyways we had fun wit our songs we chosed, esp those embarassing ones! lolx. Suppse to stay within the 4 walls. haha.

Yeap, had fun!

i miss you miss you miss you... miss you like crazy...

ms, pls know wad u're doin ok?

What a day!

Thank God for today!

Lovely and early. Woke up automatically around 8am.

Cleared my walldrobe and did some house keeping =) Long dued. lolx...

Headed to IMM to get the stuff for BBQ, I really miss my car... ='( Got lots and lots of stuff... ppl stared at me think I must be stocking up for winter. whahaha.

Bought Epic movie... The trailer at Laserflair cracked me up! Gonna watch it later. Seems fun.

Collect the otah and satay, drop by to visit my car... Oww... my heart aches... alot. a whole lot. Gotta change the whole engine... =( It wouldn't be the same anymore... Let's just hope it'll be better...

Headed to mr alan's mum's place. Got the bee hoon and headed straight down to White Sands... Bought some fish balls... Thank God there's a pasar malam there!!! If not there'll be no styrlform box to put ice and drinks.

Saw ponies and horses!!! Sooooooooooo cute. Ok, this time it's cuter den xiao bai & xiao hei. I wanna bring one home! Von says that they'll die if I bring them home =( I wanna get one to rear! Feed dem and ride them! so cool =)

I had a hard time transporting the BBQ items alone... I really felt helpless at that point. I only can look up and ask God to help me... All of you were in Ubin and nobody could help... At the end I really felt unappreciated. Nobody realised how difficult it was to buy the pits, food, transport them... Felt really taken for granted... But realised too that all of you were pretty much caught up in the camp and tired. wells.... Do it for God and do it well!

hmmm...

think u gotta speak up, tell them how you feel. u gotta be firm and understand what's ur priority girl! don't feel tat everything has to be you. if you can do it why others can't???

guess you really felt a little regret eh? well, at least we're toking again... i... just... haiz.. think u better be content...

hey... days without u seems to go pass so slowly... really miss you... u have no idea...

Wad a "suay" day...

14th june 2007
I woke up late... Was worrying into the night abt the delivery of what seemed so important...

Guess God forbids it.

My car broke down... I can't drive it. Thank God though that I was allowed to drive my dad's car.


Late for work, thirsty, rushing here and there... Drank alot of water. When for IPPT just to try for Silver. Didn't matter if I didn't get it but just aim for silver.

Guess what? The route was really cooling and easy to run. Instead of rounds just run straight, get a card and come back. I was really confident. It looked short and fairly easy. Guess where's the place? Just along Woodlands Ave 12... The place where I used to jog...

1600m into the course, too much water and the pain kicks in... I saw the pilot standing there and he was out of range... Everyone's complaining that he stood too far from the actual point. Ugh... demoralized I just walked to the finish line... My disappointing timing was 13:19...

Got back to flight, my dad's car was almost wheel-clamped. nobody knew whose car was it and it was a security risk. Opened my locker and found out my undies were in MY car... By the time now shld be in the garage...

At least you recieved it... But it seemed like it didn't mattered to u.. hmmm...

Stomach pain throughout the day... in and out of toilet... they tot i'm slacking... sadded...
Went back to garage to check things out... Everything's good. But still can't find the problem... Until today...

The oil filter was clogged...

"In most cars, oil is sucked out of the oil pan by the oil pump, run through the oil filter to remove any grit, and then squirted under high pressure onto bearings and the cylinder walls." http://howstuffworks.com/

The pistons, cylinders walls and bearings were not lubricated and they were damn hot due to friction...

Hot metal are soft... Just like warm butter... Agains the constant rubbing and corroding, the engine finally gave way... Sob... To see my car being towed away... You can say I was close to tears... It felt as if someone in my family had an heart attack...

Sadded... Really sadded... I won't be able to be with xiao hei and xiao bai for a few days, maybe weeks... =( Gonna be prepared to pay for a "new" old engine... That's gotta be expensive... =(

Monokuro Boo!

lalalala.

They are the cutest! And yes shermaine, pls dun laugh at me abt this. =P
Love their motto. Simple is best! =D

I wanna be with you...

I try but I can't seem to get myself To think of anything but you
Your breath on my face Your warm gentle kiss, I taste the truth I taste the truth

We know what I came here for So I won`t ask for more
I wanna be with you If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms Who holds you tight

I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you

So I`ll hold you tonight Like I would if you were mine To hold forever more
And I`ll saver each touch that I wanted So much to feel before (To feel before)
How beautiful it is Just to be like this

Oh baby I can`t fight this feeling anymore It drives me crazy when I try to So call my name Take my hand Make my wish Baby, your command?

---

Some randomness here...
Regarding my favourite piggies, here's what they have to say:
"Shermaine! Control yourself!!!"

whahhahahahaa...

Shrek ears are funniee...

I'll nv volunteer to go with Jadyn to that dazzle place again... owww...

Hey! I wanna be with you =)

OT = Own Time?

Wow... have been doing OT for the pass week.

Finally when I thought I could take a break, I took a nose dive and exhausted myself.

Well, actually for a good cause. It's been sooooooooo long overdued that we had BBQ. I'm glad we had it. Especially together with SQ.

It was fun to talk about the pass, have a little walk down memery lane. Funny how things we've done in the pass would seem so silly yet we stood so strong for it. Was reminded what kind of life I led in the pass when Sher mentioned that I was fighting in school... Thank God! Thing's so different now... Really missed those days.

Got new specs, love em. Really light and comfortable.

Got new phone. Really really love it! GPS, WiFi, Bluetooth and wadever not. Really sweet =) Check it out!

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