I asked God and He answered...

I asked God...

During the camp, before the hike...
Alone & lonely in the nite...
I asked God why, I ask God when.
I asked Him how come I'm in this land...

Where's my desire? Where's the burning fire?
The passion I had, When I was glad...

WhyI desired her? To become what to me was dear.
I had to asked I had to know, If what I think is what I can hold.
I asked my faith and my mind. They both tell me that it's not mine.
My heart is bleeding, my time is wasting...

All of sudden when day breaks, my mum sent me an sms telling me 9-9-06 will be my enlistment day...

UGH... Killing me...
God help me..

Bad day...

Delivery in the morn...
Went to get film using Altis, Wdls to Kallang and back in 30mins...

Went to Suntec, saw Hui... He's really bored there I think... Asked him if wan to K tonite but he's working til 9:30... Ugh...

Head to Hwa Chong Int. to deliver the Pocket Money Fund tins. Idiotic guard... Suppose to chang my pass at the entrace B but deny me and ask me to make a big U turn from Bukit Timah Rd to Almost reaching Farrar Rd there... Asshole...

Went home, realised not enough time to finish my projects... UGH...
Went for cell... Attendence is slightly better but still disappointing...
Meeting for mission Trip.

Went K with Eileen n Sheena again... Thong fly aero once again... But cannot blame, think he's really worn out... Somehow I got a very strong weird feeling... Very very strong... Maybe I'm wrong, I hope I am...

It seems like the whole world know abt me and her I wonder who told anyone... But so what if everyone knows? It's all over anyways... The person getting hurt won be me...

So if u dunno, don't have to ask...

GET OFF MY BACK

I mean it. I'm going to blow.
Anyone of you starts irritating me or trigger that button and u're gonna get it.
Don't say I did not warn anyone.
Get off my back...

Today was nice...

Woke up from Kara with Hui...
Went to work... Delivery...
Came back home, play maple...
Got a shock of my life... Eileen asked me to go kara...
Asked Junwen but end up he fly my aero...
So it's me, Eileen and Sheena at Party World Yishun...
Just sent them home...
Now going to slp...

Brokeneded...

Am I back? No way back?

I guess it's time huh?

I've never ever had a successful one... How come? Does the problem really lies with me? I look at everything around me. It seems like everyone has no problems with it... I guess only me...

There's alot of negativity going around these days... Ther 'JCers' are gettin closer to their prelims, probably trying very hard nt to disappoint those around them. JC herself probably's feelin some stress abt ministry. Somebody broke up and probably need the attention...

Kang had his faith on trial again... I hope it goes on well... Dreamerz been dreaming bout lots of things... Our dear botak's struggling hard for his OCS... Jon's wandering aimlessly but gd thing he's got her. Well, she's also struggling with her Chinese... Wonder wad's Beng up to, been lying low since his bdae...

Or am I too low profile? Amoungst the negativity I found some goodness... guess what? I lost 12kg... amazing? No... it's foolish... i'm being teared down by it... 80 to 68... in a week.. wanna try?

Soon everything for will will be gone... No more 2 hall home, no more car/van, no ministry? perhaps nv in my life i'll be able to have c....... I'm bitter...

This is 1 fall i cannot recuperate from... have to really say "nice one" to the devil... really got all of us... this time... Where's our victory?

I miss the BB already. Right even when I'm still serving... It's the passion, the love for the Boys, though naughty they are. They still bring a smile... though after all the anger and frustrations...

I can't forget, sorry, really cannot forget. I'll wait forever if it takes forever. I'm not unrepentant but it's not just the feeling I have to fight, it's almost part of my body and all my sacrifices... I've dumped in every single thing that I could.

Don't understand wad the shit I'm toking about? den y r u here? tat's all i can say...

Meaningless?

If everything is meaningless, if it's really all chasing after the wind. Why does things matters to people?

It's meaningless to live life without a meaning...

Thanks for the memories...

Memories I'll never forget...