Phobia

Yeap, today also found out my phobia...

The phobia of leading girls... I remember once upon a time when I was in Sec 2...

I was to assist Dreamerz n "Freddy", only to ASSIST... They were doing outdoor cooking and were ready to do area cleaning...

"Freddy" n Dreamerz dared me to fall them in for area cleaning so being the confident guy who doesn't knows his own strength I went for it...

"Ok all fall in" I yelled "HUH?" the girls shouted in unison...

Dreamerz was ended up scolded badly by Ms Sherine, the gers crowded around dem and I was too embarrased to do anything... I think I could remember what Ms Sherine shouted @ Dreamerz...

"... Jun wen come here! Leonard is only here to help, and my girls are very disciplined why need to fall in...." and to the gers "...what are you all oing here?!?! I thought I asked Jun wen to come?..." UNQUOTE, I dun remember exactly what she yelled but poor dreamerz...

Well... from den I got a very bad phobia of teaching... next day I was suppose to come for a lesson to help out but I slept through it... I got a big lecture from Mr. See, I believe Ms Sherine told him and from den own I was never close to the girls... =x

Until recently, I had already shooked off the shadows of living under the fear, Xiaolang approached me to teach Fajar Sec GB... I immediately turned it down... Thinking back I shouldn't have done that, maybe I should have thought through it 1st... Haiyo...

Anywayz, wad's done cannot be undone... I'm not blamng anyone, espeacially not "Freddy" & Dreamerz... But it was a funny thing to remember... I know the P1 gers will remember that also =p

Blooper!!!!

Hahax... Today was fun,

Well, start off my day with driving... nice plan that God had...
Instructor lst minute change to meet in sembawang :)

Went to delifrance to eat nice sandwich... Lady @ the counter not bad.. >_<
Saw the boys.... TL was the same playful and full of nonsense boy...

Went to meet the gang and rode in the 13-seater cab to Jiaying's and Luda's wedding. Nice... a bit warm... I mean very warm...

The wedding wasn't what I expected... It was kinda more than wad I thought it would be after attending Mr. Jeffrey and Mr. Alan's before... Wasn't as smooth running though, hiccups here and there especially with the Pastors, no rehearsal perhaps. Well, we had nice laughs it was all well.

The buffet reception for the wedding was really really grand... At least to me... Kinda pity the bride and groom... Stood throughout the whole ceremony and den last to eat, I even dared Qiusong to *kop some food from the table... =p

After the wedding we were all full and started to make fun of each other... Damn it... I DO NOT LIKE SHERZZZ.... No insult to Sherzzz, u're not my type and you won't like me either =x (as some1 special that is...) Good to be frens though :)

Xiaolang and Xiaohua kena *suan like dunno wad.... SQ was so caught up with flirtin with the Garnish, Maincourse and Dessert that Beng and co were shouting @ him...

Went for pool @ CWP... after that we search high n low for tat little flower.... SQ *hum to go into neo-print shop but kept on say he saw her there... I went in & out to check it out but nv see any flower... =p

The damn escalator @ level 2 spoilt... me, SQ n QS took a detour out to carpark, I saw the EXIT SIGN and led them into the flight of stairs... QS kept saying door will not open den just as we reach the last door it couldn't open..... =p

We climbed up n down and tried the doors but den we were just stucked... It was like soooo embarassing... We called the flower to come "rescue" us... Thank God in the end some1 opened the door for us... So embarassing... To think I led the expedition so well in sec 1/2..

Can guys cry?

If guys are not suppose to cry then I think Leora's fit to cry....

I dunno why... but I feel so depressed... There's something missing in my life that everyone seems to be having... sob*

Off to cry....

What is Your will?

I've been confused recently...

What is God's will for ne in the present course I'm in? I do not seem to have a stable outcome from it, I am seeking and searching all the time. Is it for me to reach out? For me to grow? Or just a place where I belong?

I just don't understand. I sometimes wish to quit this course. It'll be a waste of my parents money.

Today just went to ask if there's any part-time courses for nursing or physiotherapy but there isn't, there are some certification courses but it's for those nurses and general practitioners.

I don't know why but I feel a lot of tension among my class, from the girls, they guys, and the guys....

I really envy Thong's and KWO's classes, even SQ... Dunno bout JY but I'm sure they're better off then me. It's really time for a change, I'd figured that at this stage, it's very difficult to change a person's beliefs and characteristics so I don't think it's really up to me to do the job of reaching out to them...

If being truthul to them gonna make them hate me so much then I think let it be... Once I get back my book from you den it's through...

I think I'm @ a low point of my life now, I still have a ministry to serve in but my basic staple is so not set.... So unclear...

I really need to seek God's will. Brothers and Sisters, please pray for me, I'm feeling very lost right now.

Restless...

After being so tired for so long, it's time I find out why...

Yeap, it's the lifestyle of poly... Eat, got to school, spend time on comp and sleep late....
That's like the routine of my life now... Ever since I got to poly...

I got no time for excercise actually... Wish I can... so sianz... no discipline... Any1 wans to join me to go gym or play sports?

I was so blessed this birthday... Although it's my last year being a teen, I feel like its too fast... actually we feel old, not as strong/fast/playful as before...

zzz... about 2.5 weeks nv go karaoke liao... a bit itchy... Hui kept asking when i free, go sing... haiz... no money... any1 sponsoring me?

27th march! Ice skating, Glory Joy Youth Fellowship, all are welcome, more details pls msg me :)

Got to excercise more!!!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Calling for help...

Hmm, ppl say tat bloggin are just what u're writing to show ppl... In some case yeah... but then who noes? maybe tat's the real you?

Anyways... I feel that it could be a call for help? a place to show expression? to vent anger? hu noes man... God might use us to testify in blogs?

Calling for help here...
It's been a tough struggle for me to confesss to my parents tat I'm a Christian. Even my bro thinks that I'm faking..(or at least he's not taking it seriously)

I'm blaming it on myself coz alot of times I wasn't a good testimony to my parents for God.. I been very tired lately, I thank God for the CNY break so I had rest.

Ever since I got the job @ JJRG I haven't been slping early, coz i been using the comp for seriously long hours... I dunno if I'm addicted but I just think I dun have the discipline to stop myself...

This is wad my dad dislike the most...

2ndly I keep spending $$ without thinking.... and my mum hates that....

3rdly I've been skipping lessons, slping in lectures, not doing assignments, copy homework/pjts... Very very bad testimonial to classmates...

Also since I was the more "techie" guy in class, I helped hacked NYP's comp and taught my class how to use MSN in sch while the tutor was teaching... Suddenly pirated games was alright to me and I even taught my frens how to crack free games from trials...

Looking back on all theses I feel really ashamed... I'm calling for help here that may my sis n bros in Christ help pray for me...

I'm also taking my practical driving test on 11th june... I'm thinking of quitin my job and help my mum after I got my licence. It appears that my manager does not want me to quit and I can see why... I also felt that it was God's calling for the 3 of us to work there, since our boss is a Christian, our manager and fellow worker attends cell and the fact that the area has many many Christians.

Pray for me:
Discipline/Self-control to shine for Jesus
Courage and strength to tell my parents
Alertness and humbleness to know, admit and correct my mistakes.

Pray for my class, that they'll be less corrupt, grow closer and be more normal.

Pray fot JJRG that they'll be blessed by God, and that God will provide.

Do pray for me...

10-12 feb

time really flies...

10 feb:

went to jon's place for exclusive Judah cell BBQ... kinda sian coz whole week BBQ/steamboat liao...

never slp through out the nite, onli nap 1hr 7 in the morn... was sent back to sec 1 days...

we were playing carrom, playing heroes... kinda like when we were back being sec 1s again.
(we old liao)

11 feb:

from the whole Judah cell left with me, beng and the owner of the house(i mean room).
we cleared up and left for home in Jon's dad's Mercedes Benz.

Den we meet up @ ms. Sherine's place and Jadyn was like glued to Jon... Yi Jian Zhong Qing?? Haha.. got our ang baos! so left for Constantine... nice show, not suitable for those not strong in faith ba(or new in faith) coz a bit confusing and also IT"S NOT A TRUE SHOW... kinda crappy from my point of view... I think the reason Constantine didn't went to Heaven was not because he didn't believe, but he pointed his finger @ Lucifer so he sinned just as he was goin to heaven.. lolz.

After the show was more ang bao collection! Went to beng's hse.. Kaoz... so much food.... and BAH KWA!!! but kinda spicy so didn't ate much...

Den it was Jes's place.. ate dinner there, got more ang bao... Sianz... tio shoot... C'mon guys, I was just kidding about Sherzz... Where got dare to fight wif Dreamerz? =x

Den it was ekabon's hse, played puzzle bobble(not a bad game for multiplayer!) and we went to watch I do I do... almost slept during the commercials, I think the gals woke me up... yea, damn funny show... Ah nan was so ah gua tat I can't stop laughing when I think of it!

After that we left for home.. wow... damn tired... went to slp direct man...

feb 12

woke up @ 3pm... now rushin my C++ proj... I'm dead meat... wish I can dun work... ask yong to do something bout it.... but it looks like I'm dead meat... God, pls help...

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Yeah! ang paos, BBQs, food, drinks and BAH KWA!!!

Lot's and lot's of BAH KWA!!! Yuum! hehehe =p'''''

yea, but it's also a time of trial and testings.... Yesterday mum asked me to light joss stick and burn joss paper for her.. I stood firm and said NO. Yeap I said no...

Hooray for God! but sob for me... my called me AxxHxxx... and said I was so useless... But I didn't mind...

Yeap.. finally some1 with the same though as me....

This dear sis sort of got me back into thinking "why blog?" yea... Why show ur diary to the whole world? Yeap... just like what I first thought. At 1st I was heading towards my "story" line of approach... but then I needed alot of time and inspiration to blog one of it...

Anywayz, now I noe why ppl like to blog, to offload whatever frustration, whatever stress and troubles into the boundless web and leave them feeling fresh after their bloggings...

At least that's why I blog... :)

God loves to play...

God is very playful...

why? coz He plays me.. almost all the time...

Is it wrong to compliment that others are pretty? Then why the hell do people misunderstand?? kaoz, say ppl pretty also kena "suan" that I like others....

Den is it wrong to like someone?? Yea so what if I liked her before? Now's a different case... Kaoz... treat me as if I desperate like dunno wad... I wanna take pic of "you" meh? siao... Now I know God's reason...

Kaoz.. He really plays me alot.. JJRG never every have busy nights when I'm around... Only today when the guys came then started working like mad... Work nvm, den I had to spill the damn ILT on that customer!!! kaoz eh...

Den Lau say nvm, spill more.. coz it's his old colleague... super sianz... told me that the guy was C's ex... and was her dream guy!!! kaoz eh... No wonder she so so so mad at me... but then she's married already wad... why like tat???

Haiz... God loves to play.. tat's all I can say...

Tues morn learn driving, noon go bowling = spent man many $$$
Wed BBQ at home... dunno wad to do... at nite...
Thurs nite at Jonnehneh place... think is overnite....

Hope God can play less and help me more =x
no lah.. all theses are just complains and rantings... gtg...

I Love Febuary!!!

Woot! Feb is my favourite month! But then it's so short :(

For one thing, a lot of ppl I noe born in feb :) My bro (2nd), me (15th), Dreamerz (6th), Fred (8th?) and I think there's a few more...

Then there's CNY, just nice everytime go collect Ang Bao will get double because will clash with our Chinese birthday :)

Well, just came back from Ang Bao collecting... guess it'll chip in for my driving lessons.. dunno whether enough or not, maybe use it for booking circuit den gone liao :(

Driving instructor tua me today... caused me to miss parade but den he sent his car for servicing, i think kena accident =x nvm, next week ba :)

Wonderful day today (2/2/05)

Wow... driving was sooooooooooo fun!!! Clutch, brake, gas.... change gear, look here look there, turn steering wheel... shiok man!!!
1st lesson only drove from marsiling all the way to sembawang den back home and den back to sembawang and back home again... SHIOK ARHHHHHH....

Haiz... recently my dear fren "li jia chu zhou" and called me to accompany her... So rushed down to see her after work...
"Machium" in the TV series like that... family prob and boyfren prob... den we chit-chat til 3am... Kaoz that really left me thinking hard on wad Ekabon and Dreamerz posted...
Sianz... they are so right... but I find it sooooo hard to accept that are no perfect or at least close to perfect relationships... I look at it as a very possible thing loh... If only both are strong in Christ ba...
I'm not saying that the ppl they have blogged are not strong.... Maybe need to understand that it's a stage for us to learn... Guess we can't take it seriously unless we know it's serious (wad da heck toking me?)...
Haiz, anywayz I finally got her to go home after so much toking... singing songs, taking photos... Caused me to miss class that morning... Bros n Sis(s) pls pray for this dear fren...
Though she's attending church but she have not accepted yet... She also stopped cell grp le... Can also see seh starting to have church hopping habit...

In other news, my new pet(recently caught praying mantis) have escaped!!!! Kaoz... after went online to study about how to rear praying mantis den I saw it's not in the cage... Sianz, now I have a "spiritually sound" carnivorous insect on the loose in my house...

Kekeke... now starting to learn to spent small, not needed immediate can dun buy.. Ever since I feel the pressure of finding $$ for driving lessons den I know the pain of not having $$, guess God will provide :)

Tag me guys/gals on my new tagboard!

hmm... Second Febuary! Happy birthday to my brother!!!